1. Words of affirmation (praises, compliments, encouraging and supportive words)
2. Quality time (activities together, deep meaningful heart to heart quality conversation or as simple as spending time together without saying anything)
3. Act of Service (household chores, picking or sending back someone, doing the groceries, cooking, etc)
4. Physical touch (hugs, kisses, the need of holding someone's hand to feel 'connected')
5. Gifts (small thoughtful gift as remembrance)
As we grow older and journey life longer we progressively come into a realisation that people are distinctly tuned and creatively do life differently than we do. One question may give rise to 10 varying opinions from 10 different individuals.
The general concept of the Five Love Languages theory is to stretch our mind into understanding others as we strive to fathom the mysteries of love in differing individuals. For this to come to fruition, first come an understanding of self, followed with continuous and consistent effort in comprehending others.
In the initial period of practice, it may be difficult to acknowledge that a relationship between two persons consists of two independent minds with its own set of values, perspectives, and life views. A relationship between two parties contains two separate identity no matter how similar they seem to be. That's an indisputable fact.
Five Love Languages encourages us to walk out of our comfort zone, our mindset, and our perception of being loved. As we accumulate knowledge of what our language is and how we speak love to others, we'll gain a better insight on how to serve others' interest well. The ideal pattern is two persons with an understanding of each other's love language who speak love in one another's language.
Example of Acts of Service language:
Basically it's about doing something for others that we know they would like for us to do
- Cooking meals, washing dishes, taking out the garbage, mowing the lawn, changing the baby’s diaper, painting the bedroom, filling in the gas tank, cleaning the kitchen or bedroom, buying lunch, opening car doors for your wife, etc.
If this is your spouse’s primary love language, nothing speaks as loudly as these acts of service. You may give him or her words of affirmation, but they are thinking, “Cut the talk. If you loved me, you would do something around here.” For them, actions truly speak louder than words.
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/2009/02/acts-of-service/
Maxine, who had been married for 15 years, came to my office one day because she was frustrated with her marriage. Listen to what she said: "I don't understand David. Every day he tells me that he loves me, but he never does anything to help me. He just sits on the couch watching TV while I wash the dishes, and the thought never crosses his mind to help me. I'm sick of hearing 'I love you.' If he loved me, he would do something to help me."
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/communication_and_conflict/learn-to-speak-your-spouses-love-language/understanding-the-five-love-languages.aspx
Understand yourself better by taking this short 5 min quiz: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/singles/
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