One of the most revolutionary popular mass psychology concepts on love and relationship, Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I've discussed about Acts of Service here:
http://www.angeliciaang.com/2014/03/the-five-love-languages-acts-of-service.html
Now, let's elaborate more on the language of Words.
It is the beauty of kind and gentle words spoken to encourage and appreciate our loved ones. It is the uplifting sentences we utter to cheer them when they're down, to acknowledge the pains they're going through, or as simple as the basic "I love you" to affirm our affection.
Words of affirmation, words of appreciation, or words of encouragement. These are positive words desperately needed in a healthy home environment where people truly let go of the masks and pretense of having-it-all in the external world.
Home ought to be the safest haven where our loved ones feel most secure to identify personal strengths and weaknesses. Sadly, many dysfunctional parent relationship pass down the destructive culture of belittling and harsh criticism for perfection.
That's where words play its crucial part. People who score high on the language Words feel the most pain when they receive negative critics. Hurtful words will be like verbal ammos to the heart, leaving scars deep inside. And sometimes, the lack of positive appreciation may hurt as much.
People crave recognition. If we can't get it from the world, we'll try to get it at home. If we can't receive it at home, then where else do we seek the affirmation we desperately need?
Examples of important words of affirmation:
I love you
Thank you for your hardwork
I really appreciate your presence
Thanks for being thoughtful
I admire your honesty
Doesn't matter what people think, I believe the best in you
Noone can do the way you do it
I am grateful to have you
Thank you for being a great part of my life
I appreciate your sacrifices and effort to make this happen
You are important to me
I value our relationship
Words can either bring healing or curses. Words can either build up or destroy relationships. People with language of Words as their main love language fully realise that although action matters, the words that they sow matters much more than the result of the actions.
The primary channel to communicate affection is through words, to appreciate loved ones and let them know how important they are.
"One way to verbally affirm your spouse is to give encouraging words. Allison always wanted to be a writer, but after receiving her first rejection slip from the publisher, she gave up. One evening her husband Keith came into the den and said, “I hate to interrupt your reading, but I have to tell you this. I just finished reading your article. Allison, you are an excellent writer. This stuff ought to be published! Your words paint pictures that I can visualize. You have got to submit this stuff to some magazines.” “Do you really think so?” Allison asked. “I know so,” Keith said. “I’m telling you, this is good.”
Ten years later, Allison has had several articles published and has her first book contract. She credits her success to Keith’s words of encouragement. Perhaps your spouse has untapped potential in one or more areas of life. That potential may be awaiting your encouraging words."
The general explanation of Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages:
http://www.angeliciaang.com/2014/03/five-love-languages-by-gary-chapman.html
What I deduce from the love language concept:
http://www.angeliciaang.com/2014/03/gary-chapman-5-love-language-general.html
