The basic concept is clear, men have different needs than women. Not surprising. The book also classifies different emotional needs according to top 5 needs for each male and female gender. Some emotional needs are more important than other needs, and these needs are subjective to individual's preference shaped by his/her circumstances/experience.
On top of that, Dr Harley also notes some common concepts such as love bank and how the balance in this love bank relates to a person's current "feeling of love" toward the partner. Dr Harley strips off selfless, unconditional love or benevolence in spousal relationship and pushes us to see a man-woman dynamic through a harsh, realistic lens of life: that we are human beings subject to fulfilling our selfish nature and self-needs.
Not recommended for newlyweds, but do read the book to receive hands-on, practical insights on developing healthy communication habits for troubled marriage.
In summary, the concepts that he employs during counselling sessions are:
#1 The Love Bank
#2 Instincts and Habits
#3 Most Important Emotional Needs
#4 The Policy of Undivided Attention
#5 Love Busters
#6 The Policy of Radical Honesty
#7 Giver and Taker
#8 The Three States of Mind in Marriage
#9 The Policy of Joint Agreement
#10 Four Guidelines for Successful Negotiation
And top 5 emotional needs for men and women are:
His Needs Her Needs List: Men's Needs
1. Sexual Fulfilment
2. Recreational Companionship
3. An Attractive Spouse
4. Domestic Support
5. Admiration
2. Recreational Companionship
3. An Attractive Spouse
4. Domestic Support
5. Admiration
His Needs Her Needs List: Women's Needs
1. Affection
2. Conversation
3. Honesty and Openness
4. Financial Commitment
5. Family Commitment
2. Conversation
3. Honesty and Openness
4. Financial Commitment
5. Family Commitment
You can see more elaborate explanation of his concepts in www.marriagebuilders.com, http://www.hisneedsherneeds.com/his-needs-her-needs-list.html
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